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I dont know what to do anymore [20 Apr 2006|09:14am]
[ mood | awake ]

Well life sucks! Fred whom i thought would be perfect for me really wasnt! He cheated on me with my ex girlfriend which was acctually his ex girlfriend too! Isnt that nice and he also called me her name numerous times and also said i acted just like her it wasnt bad enought he had cheated on me right! Well im so sick and tired of this shit i dont even wanna be bothered with it anymore i so badly want to find love and find the right person! But everytime i get into a relationship it turns to shit and i get cheated on! Well i finally have pictures so i will post them on here! Let me know what you think the reason i wasnt on here for so long is cause i acctually lost my password i dont know how acctually i think someone got in my account and did it but oh well! Ill keep updating and ill check out all my friends profiles to see whats going on with you guys i missed you all!



1 Die| Tonight For Love

one of the best days ever [03 Feb 2006|10:26pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Well yesterday i had a crappy morning and i thought i was gonna be like that all day! Me and fred got in a argument and i wouldnt answer so he just came up her walked from slatington just to see me and it was the best thing that ever happened to me we talked for a while and then decided to be together and it has to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me he is awesome he is like a dream but he is more than real but yea so i hope it lasts i know i want it tooo!!! With all my heart! Much luv becca
~~Becky and fred february 2, 2006~~

1 Die| Tonight For Love

This sucks [13 Dec 2005|04:13pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Well once again its been a long time since i wrote anything in here but my life sucks right about now! I just got a mazda protege dx like in the beginning of july then i got my drivers permit on the 5th of aug. so i was driving then on aug. 8th 4 days after i got my permit i got into a car accident although it wasnt my fault i still got fucked over alot from it i lost my car it was totaled then on top of that my mother was hurt pretty badly she has 3 breaks in her humerus in her arm and lots of nerve damage and she also had 23 stitches above her eye the chicks in the other car wernt hurt at all and their car was perfectly fine so we got a lawyer proof that it wasnt my fault i didnt have a stop sign and they did i had the right away and they drug my car into the other side of the intersection!
So we got a lawyer and we are gonna do something about this but since they have nothing we cant sue them! But we do have something else the lawyer is checking into for us! But anyways i miss you all and im going to try to come on here alot more so i can read ur journals and see how ur doing i have alot of reading to do!!! Well talk to you later Lots of love ~~Becca

Tonight For Love

[13 Mar 2005|04:12pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well its been a long while since i updated i havent been on the computer in a while and im so sad anymore i dont know what to do with my self!! Im all stressed out over ADI I need her i cry myself to sleep at night thinking about her i dont know what to do with myself i dont know where she is and i cant find her no matter how hard i try but she will be 18 i think in july and i hope she comes to see me i miss her so she is all i think about im so much more depressed cause everything i think about or talk about reminds me of her! I posted all the poems and pictures she wrote and drew for me on my wall which means everytime i look at them it reminds me of her but all my thoughts of her are so great she cared about me so much the only person ive dated that felt the same way about me that i felt about her!! And i might have lost her! It is the most awful feeling in this world! Much luv becca

1 Die| Tonight For Love

[20 Feb 2005|03:48pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Its been a really long time since i have written in here!! Kiery is long gone and i dont want her back! I have adi now and im destined to find her!!! See what happened is she is the most intimate person i know she wrote me poems and everything she stole my heart! Then i let her borrow my cell phone and her foster mom found it and said it smelled like pot and that she was gonna take it to someone and have it tested to get me in trouble and adi got pissed and cut herself really bad now she is in a mental ward and i dont know where!! But i am going to find her she is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and im not about to lost it its bad enough i feel like its my fault!! But i really care for her so i am going to make every effort to find her! Anyone have any ideas on how let me know! Much luv becca

2 Die| Tonight For Love

i dont know [23 Jan 2005|08:02pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Anymore i feel lonely i need to fill the empty space that kiery left inside of me!! I dont want her back or anything but i feel i need someone to love me and i dont have that! Im also going back to school!!! I cant wait well i dont really miss it but i need it to get my diploma!! Ive been cooking cleaning almost non stop lately so i cant help my mom cause she is sick!! But i dont know i just feel i dont belong! I just wish i could fit in i dont know why people are so mean to me!! I went to the high school the other day to get some shit straightened out for school and here these kids were being mean to me and saying nasty shit Brian Valish and to think i had a crush on him in kidnergarden what was i thinking i flipped i said oh yea ur so cool!! THen the teacher said that i wasnt even suppose to be talking to anyone so its my fault!! Now why the hell would i wanna go back to that school!!! Fuck Em All!!!!!

1 Die| Tonight For Love

New year! [01 Jan 2005|11:46pm]
[ mood | drunk ]

Well happy new year everyone! It isnt very happy for me! Well i was alone on new years! Which really sucks! I got drunk! Really drunk! I had 14 beers thats alot for me cause i DONT drink all the time! I barley ever drink so i sat in my room and watched the ball drop and watched everyone on tv kiss each other but no not me i dont have no one to kiss i wish i did! Im so lonely anymore i just wish i could make it all go away and start a new life for me but of course we all know that will never happen peace! Much luv ~~Becca

2 Die| Tonight For Love

[30 Dec 2004|01:46am]
[ mood | high ]

I fell in love many times in my life there is one i never could quite get over she made me laugh and she was the sweetest thing in this world to me I cared for her so much!! She was my world but we broke up under bad circumstances! And usually i would just forget about the person and never talk to them again but i did cause as i said i will always love her and no matter what happens in my life i i will always have this space in my heart and only she can fill it~! I always think about her even if i do have a girlfriend! I have dreams about her and she loves the same things i do (Vampire) which is the most awesome thing you know who i am talking about I love you hunnie and always will! Love, Becca

52 Die| Tonight For Love

[30 Dec 2004|01:14am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

You're Beginning to ruin my life
If things keep goin this way
You might as well Slit your own throat tonight
Ohh no, dont slit you're own throat tonight
you might be an abuser
But i dont wanna let you go
You dont wanna fuck with me
Cause i'll make youe life a living hell
As I look upon my boyfriend
I see the flesh, Peel from his neck
As blood starts to flow from the cut
As his eternal organs wreck
So I kiss him one last kiss goodbye
As I dig his grave
Good thing that your gone
Now she is all mine
I'll be hear to wipe her tears
When she starts to cry
His mother comes to sight
I'll tell ya he slit his own throat tonight
As I dig his hole, roses were thrown on his grave
As I slit my wrists
Because I was upset
I see the blood dripping down from my hand
It makes me cry but laugh at the same time
People say theres something wrong with my head
But don't call me CRAZY ------- Just yet
Then I see his hand start to rise
pull's himself right from the grave
You made me slit my own throat baby X's 2
We made you slit you're own throat baby
you might be a abuser
But i dont wanna let you go
But I guess it's too late so i'll see you in hell
Running Through the woods
with a knife in my hand
with the need to kill
all i seek is revenge
The thirst to cut up your face
So no one can look at you --- Anymore
You can have her
It;s all over now
So lets dig our own graves
And watch the moon howl
Copywrited by Rebecca Christman
Amanda Balliet
Comment and tell me what you think

Tonight For Love

I dont know anymore! [28 Dec 2004|10:46am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Im so sick and tired of getting fucked over by girls by guys and everything. Im just so sick and tired of it all everything that comes with a relationship! Problems dont come with relationships you just need to find the right one! And i havent been that lucky yet i just love it when you get that feeling that you know your in love and then it turns out that you are being cheated on!
This picture is so hot!! I love it and hope you do too hehe!! Let me know!
Well the last couple days was ok! I ordered my vampire caps for my teeth the custom ones offline i cant wait to get them! I also ordered some clothes from hottopic i got this beanie with jack the skeleton from nightmare before christmas! Its really cool! But yea i also got this really neat necklaces they are little vials to put around ur neck and you can fill them urself mine is shaped as a heart with a spider above it! Well ima get going Much luv to all!! ~~Becca~~

2 Die| Tonight For Love

Life sucks then you die!!! [26 Dec 2004|10:11pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I hate my life i really do! Sometimes i think i would be happier dead! Sometimes i dont! I really think there is something wrong with me i dont know what it is but i know there is something and im hoping that when i get my help that i will be feeling different about other people around me and everyone in general! I love this song its called join me in death by HIM!

We are so young, our lives have just begun
but already, we are considering
to escape from this world
and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
it was so anxious to be together
together in death

won't you die tonight for love

this world is a cruel place, and we're only to lose
before live tears us apart, let death bless me with you

...this live ain't worth living

2 Die| Tonight For Love

[06 Dec 2004|09:37pm]
Hey my life sucks a fucking cunt who knew nothing of love! She fucked me over she chose a guy over me she decided to 3 way some guy while we were on the phone and he was a pervert and he was asking my boob size and asked kiery if he could touch her boobs and instead of her saying no cause she was dating me she said ask becky now wtf is this i dont know what to do anymore she is a fucking back stabber and she dont know what love is if she did she wouldnt have told me she loved me especially since she liked this other guy for a year including the almost 2 months we have been dating! Im sick of these childish games people play i want something real not someone who dont know what they want and to think that i acctually thought she was the one fuck her she can kiss my mother fucking ass!
3 Die| Tonight For Love

Ahhh Dreams! [05 Dec 2004|08:51pm]
[ mood | devious ]

I had an awful dream it was about that kate girl she kidnapped me and took me to texas and i cant get it out of my head its so hard and it was on christmas eve Just like when she talked to me on the internet she said you will SEE on christmas eve just how much i love you!! horible thought i cant think about anything else except my baby! Well it will be our 2 month aniversery on christmas i cant wait i miss her so much i havent seen her in like 2 weeks it feels like forever! But i hope i SEE her soon lol~ Love you all Muahs ~~Becca

Tonight For Love

[03 Dec 2004|11:25pm]
[ mood | awake ]

I have a hard time and now there is Kate this girl is totally obsessed with me and she says she loves me and my girlfriend got into a big fight with her and told her to lay off me or she was gonna kick her ass then i have eric and he asked me out! ahh im going crazy but i love my girlfriend and she loves me i guess thats all that matters!

My mom was also in the hospital overnight 2 days this week! Including tonight i miss her so much she has to get tested for sleep apnia! I worry about her well ima go ill update more later! Much luv ~~Becca

4 Die| Tonight For Love

[23 Nov 2004|11:53pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

This is crazy and i dont know what to do! I broke up with my girlfriend cause she was with my ex girlfriend and i didnt know this and she and my ex were making plans to go to a club! That i didnt mind so much but she didnt call me or text me like she said she would! And then when i called her she was laughing with sammie so i got pissed she said she couldnt call me but if she had sammie there and was laughing im sure she had 1 or 2 min to call me and just let me know what was going on! Then i forgave her and then i was yelling at my mom while i was on the phone with her cause my mom was being a bitch to me and i was restoring the computer and that takes like 2 hrs and she fucked it up and i had to start it all over and i was pissed cause she kept saying i did it! Thats why i was yelling at my mom and then Kiery told me to shut up or to stop yelling at her and it pissed me off! Am i being a bitch i dont think so but i want input on what you think!
Much Luv

2 Die| Tonight For Love

I dont know! [15 Nov 2004|01:14am]
[ mood | high ]

Somethings happening i dont know what it is!! Ok my girlfriend told me "when i come see you tomarrow there is something i wanna ask you and i wanna see ur face when i ask you so i cant tell you now" I dont know what it is and we will be dateing 1 month on nov. 15! I wanna know but at the same time i dont what if it is something i dont wanna answer ill update more about it!
*Much Luv*

Tonight For Love

[12 Nov 2004|10:59pm]
My girlfriend wrote this to me it makes me so happy to know someone cares so much for me!

JeRzYcHcK487: Loving my vampire-princess

Awaiting for her
Yurning for her
Needing her to come and take me away
Somewhere far away from here
Somewhere that's not visible to the naked eye

Longing for her to take me to our special place
The place where we go when we're together, in eachother's arms
The place where we go just by talking to each other or looking into each other's eyes.

The place where I go to love my vampire-princess
The place where I go to release anger and pain upon others as well as myself.

When I look into her bright green eyes, I feel as if I was a cold child that has just been rescued by her mother with a warm blanket.

I love you my little vampire-princess!

I love this girl i really do!!!
~Much Luv~
Tonight For Love

Our Song [09 Nov 2004|12:31am]

This is Kiery and my song!!!! In my eyes anyways!
Life is a mystery
Everyone must stand alone
I heard you call my name
And it feels like home

When you call my name, it's like a little prayer
I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour, I can feel your power
Just like a prayer, you know I'll take you there

I hear your voice, it's like an angel sighing
I have no choice, I hear your voice
Feels like flying
I close my eyes, Oh God I think I'm falling
Out of the sky, I close my eyes
Heaven help me


Like a child you whisper softly to me
You're in control just like a child
Now I'm dancing
It's like a dream, no end and no beginning
You're here with me, it's like a dream
Let the choir sing


Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there
Just like a muse to me, you are a mystery
Just like a dream, you are not what you seem
Just like a prayer, no choice your voice can take me there

Just like a prayer, I'll take you there
It's like a dream to me
Tonight For Love

[08 Nov 2004|01:44am]
I finally got to see my girlfriend! After like 3 weeks. Her mother brought her up and then after she was here matt wanted to see her! So I called him when her mom left and asked him if he wanted to come up and so he did! Then when he got here, we were just talking then he said we have to go see kim she wants to meet kierstyn! So we went down to rite aid cause i wanted her too meet my mom! My mom liked her alot she told me! Then we went to the gulf for kim to see her! Kim and matt say they think she is very nice! But anyways then since when i left i locked the door my dad was in the shed and he forgot to get his keys so me and kierstyn walked to my house and i unlocked the door! Then kierstyn and i decided to invite my stalker up! She was quite mean to him! It was really funny but anyhow most of the time we just sat with each other held hands it was amazing i really like her and i hope i get to see you soon!!! ~~Becca~~
2 Die| Tonight For Love

[06 Nov 2004|01:32am]
[ mood | high ]


I miss my girlfriend so much i was suppose to go see her tonight and well i didnt get to! For the reason that Amanda was suppose to come pick me up after her and justin went to see a movie! But she didnt call me or anything and when i called her she told me that she had to be in by 12:30 so she couldnt come get me! Ok then well i might be able to see her sunday matt said he might take me!! THANKS MATT **LoL**~! But anyways me and kierstyn talked all day since she got out of school!! I cant wait to see her i think she is the one! Even though many people think im confused about my sexuality i know myself well and I wanna be with her she is the sweetest most sensitive thing on earth and i will never leave her!! But anyhow she went to sleep cause she got a detention tomarrow morning with sammie! So she had to go to sleep im gonna be awake all night and no one to talk to poor me lol! But i dont know i will update more later! Luv you all!! ~~Becca~~
1 Die| Tonight For Love

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